I don't want to hear it!!!!!!

So I have been on the lookout for the future ex Mrs. McGregor. Been going okay I guess. Had my sisters introduce me to a few people, but don't think it will work out. It's not that they were'nt interesting or anything it's just I CAN'T FUCKING GET MY MIND OFF OF HER!!!!!!!!!

I am miserable I do nothing but think about her all the time and I hate it. She destroyed me, I gave her my heart and she ripped it out and stomped all over it. I have never in my life had love for a woman like I do for her. I am serious. Like I said I admit I fucked up more so than normal but I learn from my lessons. Even sitting right here typing all of this I am thinking about her and him and I just get so enraged. I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare and look over next to me and see her laying there in the bed. I think about it and I can't believe that it's actually over. 

I will meet someone and they will help me get my mind off of her and whoever this person is will be the happiest person in the world because like I said I learn from my mistakes and I absolutely will not make the same mistake I made with her.  I believe things happen for a reason and maybe her leaving was for me to find the one person who is right for me. 

I have said it many times before, yes I am still so very much in love with her, I miss her and her daughter like you wouldn't believe, hell if she came knocking on my door right now wanting to come back as much as it would piss a lot of people off mostly my family I would take her back, but that would never happen. One I don't believe that she would ever come back to me, and two it would just end up like this again and my heart can't take that. 

So for some odd reason if you are reading this and everyone knows who I am talking to, just know that I don't care what you did I still Love you more than you could ever know and you are going to be in my heart for ever. You did great by the kids and I will always remember and try to do what you did for them. 

So it's like my title says I don't want to hear it, I know what your going to say and just know that you all have nothing to worrie about. As much as I would love to have her back in my life I can't do that to the girls. I know I have been a real jerk to her by posting what I post on my MySpace and Facebook headings, but I do mean those things still. Even after what I just typed about loveing her and taking her back and all that stuff I still know that it could never be. 

I am glad that they got to talk to Carmen the other day. I still want them to see and talk to each other. Her and Fiona are BFF's and Tater still tells people she has two sisters. I can only imagine how Carmen is taking being away from the girls.

Well I feel somewhat better now that I got some of it out. I am off in a couple of hours to possibly meet my future ex-girlfriend...(jokeing) but I do have a "date" tonight hope it goes well. 

Ok so until next time...